Saturn Return

Saturn ate the songbirds that sang serenity and soothed my troubled soul,
Now their absence is a gaping hole,
That stole simplicity and made things complicated, convoluted,
diluted from their brilliance by pillaging the filament that keeps the twinkling in the firmament urgent;
entropy, which needs no help from me,
was quickened by this self-abusing wastrel,
who took a good time and turned it tepid,
who took a star-aligned intrepid enterprise and disconnected it,
who turned self to consort and took Lua’s bloodied swords and stabbed chest and throat until the lifeblood poured out,
devout in it, my sacred shrine dismantled
and set my own body as an altar and the sacrifice upon it and pulled at the handle jutting out my torso
so I could still know that I feel;
still so surreal,
it doesn’t seem a fitting ending,
to have had so much love careening, wending way that merely shuddered shut,
her soul stepped upon by worded smut that sought to barb her, as barbarians are wont to do,
my aim was true,
and ardor hardened heart and solemnly we did part.

Now the cart before the horse I am filled with remorse, gazing on the son that burns much brighter than that father spinning back to place it took when I was born,
and I am forlorn, unsure if there was any wisdom in my words and actions,
praying for a fraction of the promise of prophets,
to look at my life and remodel my habits,
as the Sabbath looms closer and I look to the sky,
longing for letters that don’t spell out “goodbye.”


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