Numbers

1. Singular. What any person actually is, but the sensation of it is amplified in your absence.
2. Plural. Duality. What we had been striving for so hard until yesterday.
3. The times you lied about him. Every time you said you’d stop but I would catch you wrapped up in him again somehow and you’d apologize and promise it would never happen again.
4. The nights you were going to spend with him in California, as he took you to Coachella.
5. The number of times you slept with him in New Zealand, swearing you were missing me.
6. How many nights you actually spent with him this Coachella trip: one of those nights were supposed to be spent with me but you were so excited to spend time with him you broke off our plans with me by lying.
7. The longest we’ve ever gone without speaking since we started seeing each other. We haven’t made it this long yet since this final break-up.
In fury, 8. How long I’ve been out of love with you – now it’s only anger.
9. How many months we’d been back together before I found out you lied to me the first time.
10. You. Us. The state of our relationship. I want to let this anger go but it’s so hard when I know I’m a footnote and you’re manipulative.

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